The fast food giant formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken is expanding their poultry-heavy menu to include a new item – the Colonel’s Crow – the item will be on menus exclusively in states that went for Trump in the 2016 election! Yes, that’s right KFC is serving up grilled or fried crow meat seasoned in the Colonel’s 11 delicious, secretive herbs and spices!
Yum! Brands owners of KFC said in a press release, “Now that President Donald J. Trump has had a couple weeks to thoroughly embarrass the nation we wanted to give the American people an opportunity to serve their braggadocios friends and family who voted for Mr. Trump a nutritious meal of literal crow meat. These Americans can proudly buy this new item starting Sunday at participating KFC locations. And health conscious consumers can rest easy knowing that all of the colonel’s crows are freshly sourced by our fleet of semi-truck drivers who will pull over every time they hit one of the flesh eating birds while it’s snacking on road carrion.
That’s not all; in addition to our classic sides like mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese and coleslaw we’ve added the perfect side for a hardy serving of crow – fresh baked humble pie. You’ll have to act fast though, this promotion will expire on the last day of spring or when Trump is impeached, whichever comes first!”
Looking to get a crow for that Trump supporter in your life? Why not buy one through our Amazon Associates account (or anything else on Amazon through the link)? It’ll help us keep bringing you completely ridiculous, fictitious satirical news content like this!