Demon spawned from the unholy bowels of Beelzebub’s bosom and assigned to Donald Trump’s shoulder advisory committee, Jacusta the Unjust, is voicing his concerns that the president cut funding to Meals on Wheels.
“I mean, cutting out Meals on Wheels for shut-in seniors? What a fucking dick move.” – the Devil
Jacusta in a rare interview told Larry King, “This is a bridge too far. I mean, cutting out Meals on Wheels for shut-in seniors? What a fucking dick move. Hell doesn’t even want the soul of a man who would steal food from the needy. That’s just a garbage soul, I wouldn’t let my in-laws torture a monster like that Needless to say I’d like to go on record as saying I told Trump this was a bad idea. Allister the Angel, my counterpart, likely would be here supporting me today but Steve Bannon sneaked into Trump’s bedroom and stabbed the poor little guy in the back. We’ve worked together for over 3 millennia and in the blink of an eye this anti-Christ, and I’ve meet the real deal JC so I should know one when I see him, just snuffs him out. I’m not sure I can be a part of this administration anymore, this isn’t what I signed up for. I like to punish the devious and the decadent, not the downtrodden. If Trump doesn’t reverse course on this he can find another devil to advise him as far as I’m concerned. I won’t be responsible for lonely seniors eating dog food because they can’t afford anything else.”