Comcast and AT&T want consumers to know they’re not completely evil, just mostly evil so they’re going to be giving away internet access from now on in exchange for being able to sell your private browsing information! What a great trade!
Barry Bonniefeldstone, spokesman for Comcast/NBC/Xfinity told our reporter, “We just don’t want to come off as greedy, soulless cocksuckers and we fear people are starting to sense that about us after we pushed this bill to Republican corporatewoman, I mean congresswoman, Marsha Blackburn who was so kind. She let us write the entire bill for her, she’s really busy after all repealing and replacing ObamaCare. And, let’s be frank, we don’t need your pathetic ISP service fees now that we got what’s really of value from you, well, until we can figure out a way to suck your blood plasma and soul out through our new Xfinity remote that listens to every word you say.